onsdag 14. desember 2011

You're not alone in anything. You're not alone in trying to be.

Did you know that when you cry, stress-hormones comes out of your body with the tears. Which is why you feel so much better afterward, you're physically carrying less stress. So, maybe I should find some sad movies and get rid off these exam-nerves? Let's see... I cry at Sucker Punch (yeah, that's how touchy I am) and I cry at Titanic...

Bright Eyes are my allies this time.
That's kinda what music is to me; allies.

When the world wont leave me alone I laugh and bite at it with Amanda Palmer, when things are too noisy I breath with Imogen Heap, when I'm about to do something I don't really dare do I kick ass with My Chemical Romance's Killjoys, when I'm disappointed in myself I am brilliant with The Cure, when I am creative I am creative with Kate Bush...

And during this particular exam-filled period, I'm driving all the way to Cassadaga with Bright Eyes.



["You're not alone in anything. You're not alone in trying to be" - Ladder Song by Bright Eyes]

fredag 18. november 2011

oh. I haven't blogged anything in a while, have I?

Well then, to pay up for the gap let me hit you with a long one:

Regarding my everyday life.
My baby brother just turned 15. I refuse to believe it.

I've been procrastinating stuff for so long. So I'm not really allowed to complain about the work amount; I've caused it myself.

And I have kinda been writing blog entries continually during the past month. But whenever I was finished writing a post I would proof read it and find it contained nothing but whining. And who would want to read a blog of meaningless whining? I wouldn't. So I kept it to myself and posted nothing.




Regarding my health.
My ears are my Achilles-heal. During the first four years of my life I suffered from constant (more or less) Otitis media (What a funny word! I just looked it up. For other laymen as myself we can call it an infection of the ear). Of course that time is over, but still, whenever I catch some sort of infection of the respiratory system (which is pretty common) no matter how small; my ears will be infected as well. It's never "Oh I got an infection in my throat, maybe my ear will be infected too?" it's always "Oh, an infection of the throat, here comes the ear infection!".

So. My throat's been hurting for about a week and I thought I was brewing something. Like "Oh no I'm about to catch a cold". But then came the ear infection so I guess I've been having a viral infection for several days without realizing that's what it was. It's over now though. I'm just waiting for my hearing ability to return to my left ear. My ears have done this so many times now, it shouldn't take long.

I'm really sorry If I infected anyone, I really thought what I had was nothing so I kept hanging around people.


Regarding our house (soon to be a very very very fine house).
We now have a kitchen. a kitchen lacking a table, chairs, a coffee maker and power sockets, but a kitchen still. There's no longer a huge hole where our old kitchen used to be, there's now a new kitchen. Finally we can use the oven, our sink and our tableware (in contrast to plastic and paper plates). Yay!


Regarding Music.
Florence + the Machine just released a new album and it's great. I still love the old one more seeing as the new one has no song as beautiful as "My Boy Builds Coffins" or "Cosmic Love", but it is truly great.

Nowadays I heart:







In other silly news.
I've been watching The Mentalist lately. I generally don't care for crime or police procedural at all, but the main character (Patrick Jane) fascinates me so I'm watching it. And so the other night I was dreaming and suddenly Van Pelt (another character in the show) said "ah, this isn't the crime scene like we thought, this is just a cover-up". And I thought "omg, that means...!" And I sat up in bed and turned on my light to examine what must be the real crime scene; my bedroom! Then it occurred to me what I was doing.
That was fun XD

fredag 16. september 2011

a most dedicated student

So, I was browsing through some old notebooks from school.
One of them was completely blank except for this one drawing. XP



I passed the subject this notebook was assigned to, though.

tirsdag 30. august 2011

Jejune Stars by Bright Eyes


So I go umbrella under my arm into the green of the radar
How did I get so lost? I’m amazed
It’s just so bizarre all the things I’m afraid of
Why do I hide from the rain?





Seriously. Their newest album "The People's Key". It's just plain brilliant. The whole thing. I love it.

tirsdag 9. august 2011

Should I comment on the new layout?

(posting this didn't even cross my mind untill I read E2's comment...)

I just felt like changing it.
I was growing tired of the old one and even though I liked it, I always felt that the old layout was a bit scrambled.

This isn't really a new-new layout though. It's a color-scheme and background image I once made for my imvu profile back when I was active over there.

(Yes, I got an account at imvu.com. I know it's a stupid money-consuming site which washes away your brain and basicly encourages cybersex. But if you look past that; It's paper-dolls/dress-up for grown-ups. And if you're interested in clothing and styling and hair; it's really addicting).

I was always very happy about that profile-page. I still feel that these colors and this background, all though it's kinda pale and cold, suits me.

tirsdag 2. august 2011

So I herd you liek moosic

I figured I'd try out Spotify's radio-function.
So I check off Alternative, Hard Rock, New wave, Punk and Rock wich are my choices among the presented genres.
And I get.....

*drumroll*

Stop by Spice Girls.

Nothing wrong with that, really, I still like Spice Girls. But Alternative/Hard Rock/New Wave/Punk/Rock?

Oh well.
Maybe it's not that weird. I just didn't expect it.

lørdag 9. juli 2011

I got a bulletproof heart, you got a hollow point smile

In social sciences one speaks of the big world and the little world. (at least in Norwegian, I don't really know the English terms for this).

The big world being the whole society we all play a part in, our common world sorta.
The little world refer to that world only known by you. Your perception of the world and the society, The way you interpret and like/use/live it all.

Now that we have established this definition of these terms I want to share this brief thought that brought me to write here tonight:

I find it utterly annoying that all your little worlds matches mine so not at all. I guess it would be easier to accept if I was better at playing this game that is the big world, but I'm no good at it. And therefore I wish I could understand all the little worlds of yours better. But I guess it's supposed to be this way. After all I'm slightly proud of my own ways and you all deserve to be proud of yours.

I'll go to sleep now.
I wonder if this thought will be of ANY relevance for me in the morning?

["I got a bulletproof heart, you got a hollow point smile" - Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance]

onsdag 15. juni 2011

Truth is now acceptable

I feel like explaining stuff.
About the changes I spoke of in my last post.
I'm not deliberately changing, I don't mean to change, nor do I feel any need to. It just happens.
I believe it happens to everyone all the time.

And the changes aren't any big at all. No one notices any differences except for me. The changes are mainly inside my mind. Like, I change my mind on subjects and my taste in stuffs. There's no drastic make-over, that's not what I mean.

Maybe it was wrong to say I get urges to decide who I am. It's more like I have to discover who I am. Because the routines I've gotten used to doesn't match the person I've changed into. You see?

It's like when people write new year resolutions. Only I suddenly feel like "writing new year resolutions" at random times during the year. I get an urge to clean up my mess and get my act together sort of. That's what I meant.

And we all change.
Me for instant, my latest changes include:
- getting gradually less allergic to the color pink.
- admitting to myself that I'm not so fond of spirit anymore. I like wine. Red wine.
- slowly comming to terms with my stomach and it's new non-tolerance for white wine.
- discovering that I can now use high-heeled shoes (as long as it's 7cm tops) and sometimes even prefer it.
And so on.

Tiny trivial stuff like that.

No need to worry, I wont suddenly convert to Jehovah's Witnesses or turn green and develop superpowers. No plastic surgery. No change of personality.

I'll just use high-heels more and avoid drinking too much white wine.

["Truth is now acceptable" - Planetary (GO!) by My Chemical Romance.
I can't get enough of this song atm. <3 And the best line is of course "Fame is now injectable" but that didn't match my post too well. Link]

I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see.

Is it just me or does this happen to everyone?
Do you ever get the urge to get a grip, pull yourself and your stuff together and just refind yourself?
To sort everything out and be ready for the next day and happy about yourself? To recreate yourself.

'Cause in the end you're the one doing it, aren't you? You're the one creating yourself. No one else is responsible. It's all comming down to you, your genes and your vision of the person you want to be. Your willpower.

It never lasts though. A person changes constantly. You never really stop growing. Or, yes, you stop growing, but you never stop changing, developing. For better or worse. When I get these urges, I plan out who I want to be and then I am this person for a week or so and by then I've changed again and I find I'm not me after all, I've become someone else. I want to be someone else. I'm always changing too fast for me to keep up. And so, I'm never happy about myself 'cause I'm never ready to be the person I am. Yes. It's 2am and I'm rambling.

rambling nonsense.

But I got one of these urges right now. After I post this I'll clean my room, sort my clothes, plan my outfit for some days ahead and decide who I want to be. And in a day or two when this prosess is done, I'll be satisfied, maybe even proud, of who I am. Then I'll be lost again come next week.
I do this every once in a while.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Tell me it does...

["I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see." - Alice in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol]

onsdag 4. mai 2011

Want to hear some great music?

you'll find it here.
in 12 hours (4pm - 4am) this band 8in8 (Ben Folds, Amanda Palmer, Neil Gaiman, and Damian Kulash) wrote and recorded these 6 songs.
I guess it's no surprise I like their outcome; every reader of this blog has probably grasped the fact that Amanda Palmer is my hero somewhat...
But even putting that aside: The music is really good.
My favorite of them all is "I'll be my mirror".
And then "The problem with saints" (who knew Neil Gaiman could sing? :D) and "Because the Origami" and "Twelve line song" and... they're all good really.

I've been listening to "I'll be my mirror" on repeat all day and now I just couldn't keep my mouth(keyboard) shut anymore, I have to share it with everyone who want to hear.

AND
speaking of music.
I've been thinking about what I want to do with my friends to celebrate my birthday this year. And my conclusion is: "something summery".
And therefore, seeing as one of my favorite activities during summertime is to watch MTV at 4am (when they're actually showing music like they're supposed to), I want to do that.

Only we'll to it during daytime. And we'll not be watching MTV in particular, just music videos in general. It'll be like watching some music channel where every video that appears will be good! Doesn't it sound like a dream? ^.^

So. I've a bunch of ideas myself already, but if anyone knows of a good music video; let me know. It can be any genre/song/band you want, as long as there's a video attached.

Give me youtube-links~

fredag 15. april 2011

It's spring! And the snow is (almost) gone, and the sun is up warming, and I've got easter holiday and everything is just great :)

And I'll be celebrating easter in Finland this year. I am. It's really happening. I've packed my suitcase and everything.

My mom is really sweet. Every year at Easter eve my siblings and I each receive an easter egg filled with candy after finding it at the end of our own personal set of rebuses and riddles. It's been a tradition for years, and I was slightly sad that I was going to miss it. But I woke up today, got out of bed, opened my door, and there it was! My own pre-easter-rebus! Isn't my mom the coolest?


lørdag 26. februar 2011

She would have done the same for me.

The hairiest of my baby-sisters was so cold the other day. She tried to sleep on her pile of pillows on my floor, but she couldn't stop shivering. So I figured she could borrow my bed. I wasn't using it anyway.





In between all her goofing, she can be pretty adorable. And really grateful. <3

torsdag 24. februar 2011

In My Mind - Amanda Palmer (ft. Brian Viglione)



I can sorta relate to these lyrics. And so; I love this song.

torsdag 17. februar 2011

I'm studying for my exam(?)

I've cleaned the kitchen.
I've cleaned my desk.
I've been reading Coraline (again) one chapter at a time.
I've found my old notes from when I thought I wanted to study Japanese.
I've added some new Japanese words and characters.
I've filled my old mp3-player (the one I never use anymore) with new music.
I've been watching TV (Bones).
I've been eating.
I've been checking out Amanda Palmer's new album (I love it =]).
I've been checking out Hot Hot Heat's latest album (it came out last year without me noticing D: I still love Steve Bay's voice X3).
And I've been telling myself that it's gonna be ok. If I just study hard these days I'll do just fine...

torsdag 10. februar 2011

Why on earth would anyone practice self destruction?

People always have some expectations about you. What you should wear, how you should behave and what you should say. At least I expect people to have expectations and so I go out of my way to fulfill them.

But. I think. Maybe.
That I’m always wrong. What I expected people to expect rarely is what they were actually expecting. And sometimes I’m freaking out because of how much they expect from me and then it turns out they weren’t expecting much, if anything, at all.

What’s up with that?

I guess my only real critic is me. And I should stop ‘cause I’m tearing myself down.

[“why on earth would anyone practice self destruction?” – “Bad Habit” by The Dresden Dolls]

lørdag 8. januar 2011

Books I finished in 2010

This list started out as an experiment of some sort. A teacher asked us, just for fun, how many books we approximately read during a year. I guessed 12, one book per month. Then I went home and wondered how true that was. So I made a list to find out. This year I‘ve read 16 books. And I decided to make a post about it for later personal reference. And by adding tiny reviews to the books I think deserve special attention, it might be somewhat interesting for others as well?

- The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is truly a great book. I’m not particularly fond of war-literature. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important that that sort of literature exists; I just personally don’t like reading it. This book however, tells the story of World War 2 with a very different perspective from what I’m used to. I loved it.

- Heart-shaped Box by Joe Hill

- Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

- The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

- Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

- Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman

- The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

- Cirque du Freak by Darren Shan

- The Owl Killers by Karen Maitland. This is the second book I’ve read from this author and it’s enough for me to put her on my list of favorite writers. There’s something about the way she describes this dark and dirty yet civilized age, the medieval times. Accurate depicturing of human life at that time mixed with supernatural happenings based on superstitions from old lore. (I can’t wait for her next book due out in spring 2011! I’ll be patient and wait for the right paperback-version to match my other two books though.)

- The Sound of Butterflies by Rachel King

- Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing With Fire by Derek Landy

- A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett is a magical book about believing in the power of imagination and positive thinking, as well as an adorable story of a little girl making it through unfair challenges. It’s a great read!

- The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch is the coolest adventure I’ve experienced in a long time. And yes, it’s the sort of book you don’t read, but experience. The world and the characters are described so well that you really feel like you’re running through the streets of Camorr right by the side of The Gentlemen Bastards, your old comrades. The whole thing is put together in a fantastic way with so much detail it’s hard to remember that it’s fiction and not an actual tale from another existing world. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry. You’ll get mad and you’ll get relieved. I had so much fun from start to end. And thank God; it continues! It’s said to become seven books in total.

- The Witch’s Trinity by Erika Mailman

- Dissolution by C. J. Sansom

- Mogworld by Yahtzee Croshaw. It’s a comedy and it’s actually really funny. It’s funny in the relaxed and sort of natural way. No one’s jumping up and down trying desperately to make you laugh, it just is funny. And it gets MMORPGs (or MOGs) so well, it was all so familiar and oh so parodical in a comfortable reserved way. I couldn’t help feeling sympathy for the protagonist and the characters were all so loveable in their own bizarre way. Even Thaddeus who I think went on my nerves just as much as he did to the subject, James.

søndag 2. januar 2011

Let's go to the moon~

So, thanks to The Cinema Snob and his loyal watcher (my boyfriend) I discovered this song ("The Jet Set" by Alphaville). And for the time being I can't get enough of it. It's brilliant. I don't know why I haven't noticed this song sooner.



And the best part of it all is this part of the lyrics:
"...
we dance the streets , feeling well
if she's a liar , I'm her lover
if she's a priestess , I'm her cover
if she's a lady , I'm her man
if she's a man , I'll do what I can
..."

And I love the whole arrangement. Let's listen to it again! =D