I'm alright

It was just one of my wisdom teeth being surgically removed. No big deal at all if it weren't for my silly phobia. I still refuse to let anything (including my own tongue, toothbrush or food) touch the relevant side of my mouth. The stitches are supposed to be gone now, but I don't know if they are, I can't bring myself to check.
Seriously. stitches in skin and/or surgically opening/parting skin with knives or needles are the most disgusting things. Screw spiders.

funny thing though; I don't mind scars. Or accidental cuts or the like.

hm hm. The mind works in mysterious ways.

On to a more fun topic!
..... I got nothing. January is a boring month isn't it? In my head it got this sort of warm, somewhat dirty yellow color. Like #ebc44d. (that is a color code used mostly in html. If you google it you should find a color sample).
I have no idea why January is yellow. It just is.

"And if you knew nothing could replace you
if you were sane
your heart wouldn't ache."
[So What by The Cure]

Dark but shining

It's 10pm, it's January and it's Norway. Does that mean it's pitch black dark?
No.
There's twinkling stars and sparkling snow, like a glittering painting on a black colored canvas.
Sure half the stars I see are probably dead, the snow is just frozen H2O and the curls tumbling around my field of view are just dead cells growing out of crooked hair follicles.
But it's still magically beautiful.

And tomorrow I'll put on my superhero-costume, bring my sidekicks and endure my panic attacks the best I can.
I'll close my eyes and pretend I know nothing of needles or knives against my skin. And if I can just avoid thinking of the stitches in my skin afterwards maybe I wont throw up every minute.

I know. It's just a tooth and I'm gonna be ok.
But I'd rather go bungee jumping.

Gee, I wonder why I'm not a doctor or why I'm not a fan of Grey's Anatomy? I'm not phobic about this at all, I love such things.

For this song to work its real magic you need to turn up the volume until your ears might just burst.
That way it's easier to ignore the world and pretend it's not there.



am I being melodramatic?

oh. I haven't blogged anything in a while, have I?

Well then, to pay up for the gap let me hit you with a long one:

Regarding my everyday life.
My baby brother just turned 15. I refuse to believe it.

I've been procrastinating stuff for so long. So I'm not really allowed to complain about the work amount; I've caused it myself.

And I have kinda been writing blog entries continually during the past month. But whenever I was finished writing a post I would proof read it and find it contained nothing but whining. And who would want to read a blog of meaningless whining? I wouldn't. So I kept it to myself and posted nothing.




Regarding my health.
My ears are my Achilles-heal. During the first four years of my life I suffered from constant (more or less) Otitis media (What a funny word! I just looked it up. For other laymen as myself we can call it an infection of the ear). Of course that time is over, but still, whenever I catch some sort of infection of the respiratory system (which is pretty common) no matter how small; my ears will be infected as well. It's never "Oh I got an infection in my throat, maybe my ear will be infected too?" it's always "Oh, an infection of the throat, here comes the ear infection!".

So. My throat's been hurting for about a week and I thought I was brewing something. Like "Oh no I'm about to catch a cold". But then came the ear infection so I guess I've been having a viral infection for several days without realizing that's what it was. It's over now though. I'm just waiting for my hearing ability to return to my left ear. My ears have done this so many times now, it shouldn't take long.

I'm really sorry If I infected anyone, I really thought what I had was nothing so I kept hanging around people.


Regarding our house (soon to be a very very very fine house).
We now have a kitchen. a kitchen lacking a table, chairs, a coffee maker and power sockets, but a kitchen still. There's no longer a huge hole where our old kitchen used to be, there's now a new kitchen. Finally we can use the oven, our sink and our tableware (in contrast to plastic and paper plates). Yay!


Regarding Music.
Florence + the Machine just released a new album and it's great. I still love the old one more seeing as the new one has no song as beautiful as "My Boy Builds Coffins" or "Cosmic Love", but it is truly great.

Nowadays I heart:







In other silly news.
I've been watching The Mentalist lately. I generally don't care for crime or police procedural at all, but the main character (Patrick Jane) fascinates me so I'm watching it. And so the other night I was dreaming and suddenly Van Pelt (another character in the show) said "ah, this isn't the crime scene like we thought, this is just a cover-up". And I thought "omg, that means...!" And I sat up in bed and turned on my light to examine what must be the real crime scene; my bedroom! Then it occurred to me what I was doing.
That was fun XD

I'm sick of this.

I'm coming to believe that, at least in my case (for I know a disease can be different for each individual), the whooping cough is actually a disguised and involuntary version of bulimia.

It's pretty tiresome really.

But I still had a great Christmas though. Thank you for wonderful gifts, everyone!

Critical hit!

Take that evil bacterias!

I got an Antibacterial at the Emergency Department.

It's weird though, 'cause they took the exact same tests as my doctor did yesterday, but this time they were positive. And the doctor there heard me coughing and plainly stated that "that sort of cough needs antibacterial".

I'm so happy.

I don't want a bacterial infection. not at all. But I'd rather have that than some stupid viruses. Bacteria I can kill. This kind of infection there's a solution to.

I feel better already.

So.

I was hoping the doctor would find some bacteria that I could just kill with some penicillin, laugh at, and then be done with.
But no.
bacteria-test negative.

But I've got something that'll help me cough up the nasty stuff at day and then something that'll calm my coughing at night. And then we'll just have to wait and see...

Maybe I'll be able to sleep now with the anti-coughing-mixture-thing. Sleep and BREATH.
I'm tired of waking up choking and gasping for breath because everything is closed.

You would think that after the twentieth or so time you wouldn't be that scared anymore. I always get air in the end. But no, I panic every single time. It's terrifying.