I spent my life, becoming invisible

Finding Twilight (by Stephenie Meyer) on my reading list for this year's literature class, I suddenly regret having watched the movie and read the comic. I know everything that happens in this story, but I still insist on reading it 'cause I know there are differences, and in case we're gonna discuss language and phrasing in class. I need to know how Meyer wrote the thing not how Catherine Hardwicke directed it or Young Kim drew it.

But reading it takes forever. I'm bored and constantly (and somewhat happily) letting myself get distracted. After trying to read the printed version, I have settled for the audio book. Being able to do crafts while listening stops my mind from trailing off too often...

It came as a surprise too. This American book is not what you expect to must read when you're taking "Modern Scandinavian Literature"... But this includes popular Scandinavian books, and Twilight is a popular book in Scandinavia, just as in the rest of the first world, so...

Oh well, I'll manage. It's a good opportunity to finish my cross stich table runner.

Speaking of worldwide bestsellers...
Here's another song from the Hunger Games Soundtrack, I kept having this on repeat all last week:

You're not alone in anything. You're not alone in trying to be.

Did you know that when you cry, stress-hormones comes out of your body with the tears. Which is why you feel so much better afterward, you're physically carrying less stress. So, maybe I should find some sad movies and get rid off these exam-nerves? Let's see... I cry at Sucker Punch (yeah, that's how touchy I am) and I cry at Titanic...

Bright Eyes are my allies this time.
That's kinda what music is to me; allies.

When the world wont leave me alone I laugh and bite at it with Amanda Palmer, when things are too noisy I breath with Imogen Heap, when I'm about to do something I don't really dare do I kick ass with My Chemical Romance's Killjoys, when I'm disappointed in myself I am brilliant with The Cure, when I am creative I am creative with Kate Bush...

And during this particular exam-filled period, I'm driving all the way to Cassadaga with Bright Eyes.



["You're not alone in anything. You're not alone in trying to be" - Ladder Song by Bright Eyes]

a most dedicated student

So, I was browsing through some old notebooks from school.
One of them was completely blank except for this one drawing. XP



I passed the subject this notebook was assigned to, though.

I'm studying for my exam(?)

I've cleaned the kitchen.
I've cleaned my desk.
I've been reading Coraline (again) one chapter at a time.
I've found my old notes from when I thought I wanted to study Japanese.
I've added some new Japanese words and characters.
I've filled my old mp3-player (the one I never use anymore) with new music.
I've been watching TV (Bones).
I've been eating.
I've been checking out Amanda Palmer's new album (I love it =]).
I've been checking out Hot Hot Heat's latest album (it came out last year without me noticing D: I still love Steve Bay's voice X3).
And I've been telling myself that it's gonna be ok. If I just study hard these days I'll do just fine...

You said you'd lend me anything, I think I'll have your company

Happy Birthday, Mam.

It's time for school again. With (one of) the same subject(s) I started last year. Only this time I'm gonna make it. And I'm gonna make it good! I'll do great.

I'm convinced that I'll do fine this time. I'm more prepared and I'm more enthusiastic.
And it's not just me. I counted six others from my original class. Tah. In a maybe malevolent way that makes me real happy and more at peace with my own "failure".

And this year school will be so much better. So many of my friends will be close by and I feel like I got this safety net around me, knowing they're just around the corner.
I got Tink just a short subway-trip away and Vilje just across the street.

And Boyfriend is just across the street too. I even saw him today. Made the whole "first day"-thing much less tense.

And I got my loyal classmate. We planned our own tiny study-group already. Both ready to study hard and actually reach the finish line this time.

I'll do fine.

oh! And I has job!
The local library wants me to help out every fourth Saturday and maybe on special occasions.
I take that as a huge compliment.

Everything will work out fine. It will work out. It will work out.
I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.

["You said you'd lend me anything, I think I'll have your company" - "Paris" by Kate Nash]

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Next week is my exam. It will not move to a later week no matter how unprepared I am.
I really should prepare myself.

Cue "Eye of the Tiger".

You know what's much more fun than studying?
Being with boyfriend. shopping. Chatting with friends. playing with pokemons. sleeping. cuddling with cats. reading FICTION. watching Bleach. cooking. daydreaming.

CLEANING is more fun tham studying.

["Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten." - Burrhus Frederic Skinner, American psychologist (1904-1990)]