A reflection. (on my socializing capasity)

I haven't blogged in ages.
But I have done some thinking. (And I've been through my annual autumn-depression, during which blogging feels hard and redundant.)

Here's the thinking I've done:
I kind of want this blog to be filled with... thoughts. You know like my "If you garden them and water them"-post or the post about synesthesia. And filled with events like when I went to Edinburgh and such.

These thoughts and events doesn't happen every day so there's gonna be gaps between posts.
I feel that for trivialities (you know like pictures of my food and what TV-show I'm watching) platforms like tumblr, twitter and facebook are more fitting.

I wont start using my facebook.
This may sound as if I'm opposed to facebook as a concept, but I'm not, I'll try to explain:
I am somewhat weird when it comes to socializing. I can only handle it in limited doses and in certain forms.
I am capable of pushing myself out of this comfort zone, but if I do this for an extended period of time, I collapse, I black out, I freeze. And then we get weeks where I isolate myself, to the distress of friends sending me texts I never reply to, until I feel fit to go out and socialize again.
Facebook, for some reason, makes me feel uncomfortable and have this paralyzing effect on me.
I don't know why. There's something about the way it works.

It's like.
With twitter or tumblr or this blog it feels like I'm hanging my thought up on a billboard and whoever is interested can come and read it.
With facebook it feels like I'm standing in front of my new class, wearing only a bathing suit.

It's pretty irrational, I know.

I'm not comfortable in a bathing suit.



BUT I have been hanging around tumblr lately, and found I quite like it there.
So (and finally I get to the point) for those people sick of the gaps between my composed thought-posts, who just want to know how I am doing, what I had for dinner and what TV-show I'm watching... I made a tumblr:

meanwhileinreallife.tumblr.com

where I will share trivialities and probably reblog silly pictures of cats.

Dramico

I wanna share my dragons with you. 'Cause I love them so.



This is Dramico, he's a Schleich. There have been some years since I got him and I don't think Schleich is breeding anymore of his kind. He is the very start of my dragon collection. I remember getting him sometime when I was out shopping with my Mum, Granny and Sister. There were several colors to choose from, but I wanted a classical green one.

As the classical European Dragon he is, Dramico has been my model several times when I wanted to draw a dragon. I don't know why I call him Dramico, but at the time I got him I thought it sounded nice and like the perfect dragon-name.

Isn't he cool though? He got a kinda scary look if you look him in the eyes, but he's really a nice guy. *dead serious*

mokrbkao

I made myself a bookmark!
I'm creative and productive, yay.

I got thousands of bookmarks already (alright, not thousands, but a whole lot) and I'm using them all.
Yes, I'm that kind of crooked person who reads several books at the same time. (Which is why the book list on this blogg is called "Books I finished in 20xx", and not "Books I read...")
And the other day I was one bookmark short. (using postcards, receipts or napkins as bookmarks is too boring ;P)

So I found some of the lovely printed paper I got for my birthday (Thank you, E2) and I stole (I said please) some Aida from a friend (thank you, Vilje) and I made myself a bookmark.
And I feel mighty proud 'cause it's been a while since I made something on a whim like this.



For those curious: the book in the picture is The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett.

Cake icing and decorating set

It's the first month of a New Year and usually this call for New Year resolutions. This year I won't bother. I know that within the year I'll have forgotten about them and come next year I'll be writing the same resolutions over again because I failed to keep them.

Instead I want to reflect a little over the long term goals I have and the ones I've already fulfilled. Not the huge “I wanna be an astronerp when I grow up” ones, but the little ones.

In example. When I was younger (I'm talking toddler) I remember seeing my Mam fixing my Daddy's tie. To my four years old mind this was a really cute and romantic scene and I remember thinking that “when I grow up to be a wife I wanna be able to fix my man's tie”. (True story).

(I was also going to marry my Daddy, but he calmly explained why that couldn't happen. He also explained why Grandpa couldn't be my second choice as that marriage was out of the question too)

When I was around ten I remember finding a recipe on how to tie a tie and I practiced this knot over and over again. And I'm proud to announce that I can tie a perfectly ok tie. So there. Goal reached. Mission accomplished. (It's good to see that not all goals crumble to pieces).

I even saved Seb's neighbors the other month. The mother and the two teen sons were getting in their car. Both sons were dressed nicely in suits, ties in hands. And the mother came over to us asking Seb if he knew how to tie a tie, because father wasn't there at the time and they were going to some fancy event. Seb shook his head and said “sorry, I rarely wear ties” and they all looked disappointed. So I raised my hand, ahemed (that is now a word) and said “I can, I know how”.

I, a little curly filly (yup, I'm a horse now) from the forest of Norway, I too can be a hero.

(I know I've posted this song earlier, but it's relevant for this entry so I'm posting it again (plus: I love it so it's allowed to be posted twice).)



Another role model for me would be my aunt on my mother's side. Whenever we were having some sort of big event or party she would be wearing her bunad and in her bunad-purse she would always keep band aids and a tiny sewing kit. So whenever you got hurt (during the run under the decorated tables or hide behind everyone's fancy coats in the rented wardrobe -games) or your clothes ripped, she would be there for your rescue. I have wowed to myself that when I “grow up” I will be Aunt Safe with an unlimited stack of band aids and other useful items. I already got band aids in all my bags and purses and I hope that when the time comes I'll be ready to save either my own kids or whichever nephew/niece/godchild or random kid in distress. (or grown-up, should that be the case)

Other goals for my life would be to learn to cook my family's traditional Christmas-dinner so that my kids can eat it sauce and all, and to stand on the top of the Eiffel Tower at least once.

I also wish I could play music of some sort so some day before I die I want to learn a music instrument. It shouldn't be too hard and it doesn't have to be anything fancy. I hear it takes no time at all to learn the ukulele so maybe that's what I'll learn, I dunno, either way I will eventually play something.

And I want to get better at knitting. Aaaand maybe I'll learn by heart the Rubik's cube, if I ever get the time. (All the cool grown-ups in my family have at one point known the Rubik's cube)

I think that in the end these little “trivial” goals are the ones that really matters. Who cares if I ever reach the “ideal” weight and status or the top of any career; I have band aids and I can tie a tie.

oh. I haven't blogged anything in a while, have I?

Well then, to pay up for the gap let me hit you with a long one:

Regarding my everyday life.
My baby brother just turned 15. I refuse to believe it.

I've been procrastinating stuff for so long. So I'm not really allowed to complain about the work amount; I've caused it myself.

And I have kinda been writing blog entries continually during the past month. But whenever I was finished writing a post I would proof read it and find it contained nothing but whining. And who would want to read a blog of meaningless whining? I wouldn't. So I kept it to myself and posted nothing.




Regarding my health.
My ears are my Achilles-heal. During the first four years of my life I suffered from constant (more or less) Otitis media (What a funny word! I just looked it up. For other laymen as myself we can call it an infection of the ear). Of course that time is over, but still, whenever I catch some sort of infection of the respiratory system (which is pretty common) no matter how small; my ears will be infected as well. It's never "Oh I got an infection in my throat, maybe my ear will be infected too?" it's always "Oh, an infection of the throat, here comes the ear infection!".

So. My throat's been hurting for about a week and I thought I was brewing something. Like "Oh no I'm about to catch a cold". But then came the ear infection so I guess I've been having a viral infection for several days without realizing that's what it was. It's over now though. I'm just waiting for my hearing ability to return to my left ear. My ears have done this so many times now, it shouldn't take long.

I'm really sorry If I infected anyone, I really thought what I had was nothing so I kept hanging around people.


Regarding our house (soon to be a very very very fine house).
We now have a kitchen. a kitchen lacking a table, chairs, a coffee maker and power sockets, but a kitchen still. There's no longer a huge hole where our old kitchen used to be, there's now a new kitchen. Finally we can use the oven, our sink and our tableware (in contrast to plastic and paper plates). Yay!


Regarding Music.
Florence + the Machine just released a new album and it's great. I still love the old one more seeing as the new one has no song as beautiful as "My Boy Builds Coffins" or "Cosmic Love", but it is truly great.

Nowadays I heart:







In other silly news.
I've been watching The Mentalist lately. I generally don't care for crime or police procedural at all, but the main character (Patrick Jane) fascinates me so I'm watching it. And so the other night I was dreaming and suddenly Van Pelt (another character in the show) said "ah, this isn't the crime scene like we thought, this is just a cover-up". And I thought "omg, that means...!" And I sat up in bed and turned on my light to examine what must be the real crime scene; my bedroom! Then it occurred to me what I was doing.
That was fun XD

a most dedicated student

So, I was browsing through some old notebooks from school.
One of them was completely blank except for this one drawing. XP



I passed the subject this notebook was assigned to, though.

Should I comment on the new layout?

(posting this didn't even cross my mind untill I read E2's comment...)

I just felt like changing it.
I was growing tired of the old one and even though I liked it, I always felt that the old layout was a bit scrambled.

This isn't really a new-new layout though. It's a color-scheme and background image I once made for my imvu profile back when I was active over there.

(Yes, I got an account at imvu.com. I know it's a stupid money-consuming site which washes away your brain and basicly encourages cybersex. But if you look past that; It's paper-dolls/dress-up for grown-ups. And if you're interested in clothing and styling and hair; it's really addicting).

I was always very happy about that profile-page. I still feel that these colors and this background, all though it's kinda pale and cold, suits me.